THE RIGHT THING

The auto industry has asked the government for $25 billion to retool to make fuel efficient cars. I.e., they want us to pay for what they should have done with their profits from when SUVS and trucks were hot.

The right answer? Not interested. We will give you money if 1) you get rid of all the management people who brought you to this pass; 2) you start respecting the people who work for you financially; and 3) you change the names of your corporation and your cars, because nobody wants the shit you make. In order to guarantee that you do the above, we want over 50% of your voting stock. If you're not interested in this deal, we'll wait until you go under and then give the money to buy your plants at a nickel on the dollar to people who know how to run a socially conscious business.

And THEN they want another $25 billion to set up an employee health trust. The right answer: rather than giving you, who have proven your lack of brains and bad attitude, money for health insurance, why don't we take that $25 billion and seed single payer coverage, i.e., the kind of socialism that doesn't just get you off the hook for health care coverage your union contracts require of you, but offers the same coverage to tons of people who don't work for you. How many people could we cover with $25 billion. Bet it's a lot more than are on your payroll.

That would be the right thing to do.